It get´s worse!!!

This happened Friday 10th of September 2010.
We have a fair in our little "village" that weekend and the day before(friday) we have a dance, it´s always great and everybody´s having a great time. But this year, when almost everyone had left ( other than we who worked there and was gonna clean up a little) and my cousin, let´s call her "Sara" (that´s not her name) worked in the bar and she stod there and talked to a guy and they had a good time, and then dad said that everybody had to leave the building (dad was drunk, as usual) and we told him that that guy that "Sara" talked to was hiring a room there(wich was completly true!)but dad didn´t listen and after a while he started to scream at everyone and then "Sara" raised her voice so that he would listen and told him that he hired a room there and dad walked up to her and leaned over the bar(wich was between them) and whispered sort of, with his evil voice(i don´t remember what he whispered but i know i heard everything and saw everything that happened). Anyway, the guy that "Sara" had talked to still stood there but he had taken a few steps back and watched "Sara" and my dad. And suddenly dad hit "Sara" and she said: Stop! Not me! Really! stop! For real!, And dad said ,with a voice as if he made fun of her: Not me, for real! and then "Sara" putted down her Loka soda on the bar so hard that it broke and the soda ran down from the bar and out on the floor, my step grandmother took dads shoulders and led him out through the kitchen and out and told him to go home, and i gave him his flashlight and since me and "Sara" was supposed to stay at his house that night he said that he wouldn´t lock the door, in case i still wanted to come. and then he walked away with a smile on his face. At that exact moment, my heart broke, more than it ever had done before. After i went inside again i started to clean up the soda from the floor with a mop, and i hadn´t cried yet, but then my cousin. who sat down behind the bar now, crying, told me to go to her and she hugged me and we both started to cry, really loud and then i went back to wiping the floors but this time i cried, still pretty loud. I had to do that, so that i wouldn´t think about what just had happened too much. I cleaned the whole floor there that night and it was actually a big floor, where we had danced and had a great time, just minutes before. I stayed and mums house that night and my grandma, grandpa and their friend borrowed a room and 3 beds in my step grandma´s second house so "Sara" slept in that house too, but i haven´t talked to my dad about it since then, i have only seen him once after it happened and that was the day after, at the fair, ´cus he worked there too, i worked in the kitchen and he outside but my wirk was to fix soda, jam and other supplies everywhere and i asked him if they needed anything, other than that ,oh wait, i´ve talked to him one more time since then, the saturday, he asked me if he had hit "Sara" and i said yeah, but i never told him that i had seen it all. i didn´t want to get in the middle. But since then i haven´t talked to him. I know he is a monster, but only when he´s drunk. I remember before he did the surgery, that was gonna help him to lose weight, that wasnt what made himlike this but still, after that i havent been alobne with him long enough to get a good memory of it, Anyway, before that he could drink a little whine sometimes but he never got drunk enough for me to care, i knew it but he was still my daddy, calm and caring... You can´t believe how much i miss those times, when i was little and he came back from work and woke me up, in the middle of the night and we watcheed some tv or something and then went to bed, and the same morning we woke up early and ate food as breakfast while mum was asleep, and then we woke her up and we had a family moment. Mom and dad hvent been together since i was a baby but at that time they lived together anyway, for me, and since dad worked on the weekdays, it all worked out anyway. I WANT TO GO BACK TO THOSE TIMES! I´m only 14 but i still feel like my life is over, I´m not sure if my heart can heal after that dance thing. We´ll see...